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The Tree of Story in the Vyrnwy Valley
"ADVENTURES IN STORY AND DRAMA"
"DAN’S DIRTY WATER"
There was a reason Dan was the smelliest boy in the school. Why his clothes and hair smelt. Why his armpits, the back of his knees and even his eye-lids smelt.
His teachers opened all the windows in the class. Sometime they opened them in summer. but they always opened them in winter. Whilst the children chattered and shivered in the cold, they had to agree with their teacher that even this was better than Dan smell.
It could all have been so very different.
You see it wasn’t because of Dan’s parents not looking after him. Nor that he was poor. Or that he wore wore only hand me downs.
It was because of the sink fairies. Because of dirty foot water and Halloween and the fact that his team had lost at rugby.
It started a year ago tonight. Yes tonight. the time you call Halloween but older people with memories still call Samhuin. The time of the ancestors when the dead come back to life. The time of grinning pumpkins and extorting money and sweets from your neighbours.
Dan had been the best kept boy in the school. His father was a bank manager; his mother the personal secretary to a big director, and both of them wore shiny shoes. Dan was their pride and joy. Their only child. The neat little feather in their cap.
Because of da’s own da he wasn’t a bit superstitious. Because of ma’s own ma she was terribly so. He counted his coins. She counted her blessings. But neither of them were daft enough to ignore what they knew about dirty water at this time of year.
As for Dan, all he did was count the days and hours and minutes until he could play rugby again.
Dan lived for rugby. Down on the scarred old field he wouldn’t care if he were knee deep and face down in mud with a mouthful of broken teeth; he’d still be happy.
That night they all came home exhausted. Da had had a hard day refusing people loans. Mum had had a tough one trying to avoid all the “just one more things” before she could get out of the door and go home.Dan’s team had been pulverised at rugby; the worst thing of all.
Of course Dan’s da never went out trick or treating and neither did his mother. This year Dan didn’t either. Instead he slumped on the sofa and watched soap operas he didn’t like.
As it happened the shower was broken. There was a freeze in the pipe or some such thing.
So Dan washed his mucky hair under the tap. He scrubbed his muddy hands in the basin and with a deal of overbalancing he washed his filthy legs and feet in the big kitchen sink.
Dan’s ma and da were early to bed that night; ma’s head full of planning refusals, da’s of refusing planning. Dan was early to bed too. He forgot Halloween and trick or treating. he forgot the dirty foot water in the sink and was long asleep by the time it started to bubble.
“Ah ha,” said one of the creatures that lived in the U-bend.
“Fancy that. Him of all people,” spat the second.
“You get some surprises,” the third exclaimed.
“Result”, they all crowed together and happy slapped the air, each other and what they could reach of the u-bend. There was a bad gleam in their almond eyes.
“Feet Water,” they hissed. “Feet Water. Feet Water. Feet Water”.
The creatures knew the power of threes. They understood about “Feet Water”, and besides they had little better to do.
Upstairs while Dan slept his last clean sleep,the creatures in the U’bend plotted. They shrieked. They danced with glee.
“What shall we have this time”, they asked. (As if they had any doubts?)
Feet Water? Dirty Sink? Soul Night?
That spells trouble. Big smelly trouble.
So they spat in the foot water. They surfed and skate-boarded in it but didn’t swim because after all they wouldn’t want to catch anything.
Then they let all of the water out.
What do really bad feet smell like? Tramps feet? Men in warfare for months feet? Lands End to John o’ Groats without bothering to change your socks feet?
Ask Dan. He smelt of them all. Dirty feet smell from his hair to his ----feet.
Of course everyone knows the spell will only last a year so they’d all just have to ride it out.
Dan coped with it alright. He coped with waking up, with cleaning his green teeth, with the fact that no-one and not even the dog who was quite smelly himself, wanted much to kiss him good morning or good night.
He coped with the fact that the rest of the children had to freeze in their classroom for five months of the year because of him, but he was still popular because he could still play rugby and he scored plenty of tries because no-one wanted to get near enough him to try and steal the ball.
His ma and da still wore shiny shoes. His da was up for a promotion because of all those loans he’d refused, whereas his ma had already got hers because of all those extra things she’s agreed to do. Funny that - how Dan’s misfortune had brought the family luck.
But both of them always carried a perfumed handkerchief everywhere just in case they met their son.
Tonight is Halloween and although you can be sure Dan has learnt his lesson, there are still nasty plotting creatures lurking in u-bends everywhere, and you wouldn’t want it to be your classroom windows open.
Would you? five months of the year. Would you?
Copyright Stephen J W Gladwin 2009.
| | "ADVENTURES IN STORY AND DRAMA" The pupils have found the experience highly enjoyable. It has improved their confidence. Everyone felt that they had participated in a valuable experience.” Hannah Green - Aston Manor SchoolI am a writer, storyteller, performer and qualified teacher with over twenty years experience of working with just about every group you can imagine.
I tell stories, give performances, and create workshops and packages to suit individual and group needs. I am based in both Wales and the West Midlands and will do my best to provide you with exactly what your school or group needs. I use a combination of story and drama to build confidence and create something out of nothing.
Why not give me a ring on 01938500728 or mobile 07794130945 or e mail gwern50@swanfall.co.uk/com and I will come up with something to suit your needs. Meantime here's another atory
COYOTE AND BLUEBIRDNow everyone knows that Coyote is king of the tricksters but he wasn’t always that way.
That Coyote - he was pretty dumb at the beginning. He couldn’t see the world in front of his own two daft feet.
His best friend then was a little brown bird; such a little thing as you’d scarcely notice, but Coyote -- well he liked her sweet song, and she wasn’t that bored yet with all his tricks.
Then a day came when little brown bird didn’t sing.
She still flew up high and circled round and round Coyote’s head and even chirruped, but that sweet song of hers was gone.
“What is it little friend,”, asked Coyote.
“Oh look at all those colours”, she said. “Look how green is the grass - how yellow the sun. Oh and see how blue is the river. Look at me. Why can’t I have some of that colour?”
The thing is she was so busy circling and chirruping that she clean forgot to look where she was going and crashed straight down into the old river.
When she flew up spluttering she was --- blue.
Then sun showed bluebird her new reflection in the water. She flew up - she few down. She flew back - she flew round. Then she took up with such a sweet song as sun, grass, tree and river had ever heard.
“Look at me. I”m blue. Oh take a look at me. I”m blue. I”m blue.”
Her friend Coyote heard her. He felt her joy and shared it. He got so excited he started to copy her.
“I”m blue”, he shouted. “Look at me. I”m blue too.”
Of course he wasn’t, but I told you Coyote was dumb back then.
He copied his friend Bird turned blue. He jumped up - he jumped down. He span back - he span --- far too far round and crashed straight into a gnarled old tree with trip over roots. He hit his head and knocked some sense into it. He ended up rolling and rolling in the dust and covering himself all over with earth.
Coyote wasn’t blue. He was only the colour of the earth he’d just rolled in.
He’s been that colour ever since.
This was long before any of his tricks.
 
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